Once upon a time
Lived a healthy, happy and optimistic girl. Her life was going in an upwards direction and all of a sudden something bad happened. She became unhappy, rarely laughed and that vital optimism vanished with fear as its replacement. Her stomach now seemed to have a mind of its own and she was diagnosed with IBS, her hormones stopped responding and she lost her period. Her weight was only 40kg and people thought she may die and she also thought death was close. It seemed like nothing was helping - she did all the possible tests, tried all sorts of treatments and remedies, but her body would not respond to anything so she changed what she was doing.
She stopped looking for an outside cure and turned inwards. She started to use her mind to heal her body and learned how to deal with stress that appeared to be the cause of her pain. During this time, she learned a lot about herself and others, about her body, and studied, learned and applied all of it to herself. It took some time and she was patient to heal her mind and her body. Now, she lives the life she always wanted which consists of teaching people, having a wonderful husband, enjoying time with family and friends, a lot of travelling, runs her own successful business and feels the joys of life.
When people ask me if I believe in fairytales I respond ‘Yes, and that girl is me!’
The single biggest cause of ill-health is an inappropriate response to stress…
We know that stress changes chemical balance in our bodies and is a major factor in triggering autoimmune diseases. Stress also reduces immune response and our bodies become weaker and unable to protect us from influence of our environment. It causes metabolic imbalance and hormonal changes. Our heart is under constant pressure as well as our muscles. The biggest killers in today’s world aren’t theorists and wars, it’s stress. Stress reduces the ability of our body to heal and is slowly shutting down; heart and cardiovascular disease, cancer, obesity, you name it.
Mental jail of stress…
Stress narrows our focus, which is great if you are about to be attacked by a bear, however it changes the ability of our brain to process multiple amounts of information and also makes it difficult to find solutions and imbalances our focus from work to family to friends to pleasure. Stress is also responsible for our focus on the negative and is essentially a flight and fight reaction with major causes being anxiety, depression, phobias, fears, low self esteem, loss of confidence, insomnia, lack of creativity, etc. Our life becomes a jail; a vicious circle of negative thoughts and it seems to us impossible to escape from.
Our coping mechanisms…
We have plenty of coping mechanisms but they usually aren’t healthy. When we perceive physical or mental pain, our brain reacts by reflex (not in our conscious control) and this reaction is to move from the source of the pain. It is great when you touch a hot stove but what happens when you can’t move away from the source because it is mental stress and the source is in your mind? Don’t get me wrong, it is still perceived as real to us and our mind does not know the difference between an imaginary threat and a real threat so it acts the same. Our body reacts the same. Our mind uses the closest and easiest available tool to help us relieve the pain or get away from the pain; alcohol, drugs (prescription or illegal), food, anger, addictions to shopping and sex, etc…
For some, coping mechanisms can be to always avoid a stove. How can we enjoy cooking anymore? (Assuming we enjoyed it before). Some people find that the only way to avoid stress and fear is to hid in the safety of their own home and not interact with others, which consequently leads to more problems and stress.
Obsessive disorders can be created as part of both of these mechanisms; relief or avoidance.
Ugh… this looks pretty bad and hard!
Is it? Return to the story about the girl…
It is painful and it often seems that there is no way out from this jail of stress but there is a way out. The reason why we think it is impossible, challenging and that others can do it but can’t is because we are caught in a negative thinking pattern caused by stress.
My suggestion is to open the eyes and start looking for people who have successfully changed their lives. Research how they have succeeded. There isn’t anything to be ashamed of or feel guilty for if you ask them openly how they’ve made it. Life is full of stressful situations for everyone and the only difference between those people who have succeeded and those who are consumed by it is how we cope with it. This coping is learned. In my experience, people who are successful and have passed through difficult parts in their lives and have changed for the better generally love sharing their experiences and helping others.
How did I do it…
Well, it was so hard and painful that I had to get out if it so I decided that I will do it, although I still didn’t believe it was possible.
I held a picture of myself as i was before - healthy, happy, optimistic and that was my goal, to return to the old me. However, it became even better and I became healthier than ever, stronger, wiser, happier, my relationships with others became better and I started to trust myself and believe in myself. I am more successful now and I enjoy life fully present and aware of myself and others.
I studied, explored, learned and applied all of it - some less, some more successful than others but I did it regardless.
I was patient and persistent. I had my ups and downs and it didn’t happen overnight. I remember the moments when I thought that it’s all bullshit and thought I will never get better. Happiness is for other people! Not me. But I learned from every experience and grew wiser from it. Go forward, not backwards. The trick is to never give up.
And one day you begin to realize you are feeling better and it gives you power to another better day, and then another… Remember the journey starts with one single step and continues with one step at a time until you reach your destination.
I remember my journey and all those single steps which helps me deal with problems and obstacles easier, pushing me forward and higher. I use the wisdom and knowledge from the past and apply it to other aspects of my life. Notice your progress and celebrate every little improvement, so it stays as a constant positive influence in your life.
Conclusion or is there one…
There will always be stress around us. Horrible things are happening and there are plenty of problems and worries on our doorsteps, however, we can learn to cope with stress and become resilient and healthy regardless.
Did I think that someday I would become successful, happy, joyful and healthy? That I would be doing what I do now which is helping people to heal? No, but it didn’t stop me to try and do my best and now my life has become better than I could have ever imagined. I learned from experience and also used all my knowledge to create powerful programs and techniques and help others on their journey to a better and healthier life.